How to let i know that i knew?

Now i realize, once injured, it will have a scar remain
It wont turn back time

Last time, i when i get angry, i will show to u tell u
And at the end, i will cool down and u will become the boss

I knew everytime u will gimme a reason that everything just i misunderstood u.
Most of the time, i felt guilty

Maybe this is because u really occupy my heart

But now, i just wanna calm down
I dun wan to listen to any lie from u
I am bored
I hate people lie to me
I believe u not only tell me lie once,perhaps more than i cant believe


I cant accept people lie to me

Dear, i really make me feel like u r stranger for me
I am scare of u now
Who u really u r?
What ur purpose on me？

The hardest thing is to tell u " i knew u lie to me....."

What should i do now?

Where am I?

Quite a long time i disappear
Today i thought will be a best day for me
Will be a nice and warm sunday
I could woke up early in the morning to fetch my beloved cousin
I laugh when i heard his cute voice
My dear purposely make a visit to my house
I told him not necessary but he answered "what to do, i miss u"
So sweet. I really smile from heart
I thought to visit my relative today and introduce to them the investment scheme
What a good day, will i have enough time?
Hopefully today will be a long day

However, what u plan will never win a changes.

I am happy when i met my dear
I look deeply to him
He looks so sweet so caring
I suddenly felt he is my rite one
Not willing to say goodbye,so, follow him for a meal
Unexpectedly i saw a message from a girl
He always said there is someone(a kl girl) that like his best fren
I truly trust him at the begining
But from time to time i saw more messages
Although a simple message, but a simple message always have a bigger meaning
Even me and him also start from call and messages even today still almost never change
And today i saw a message newly from that lady, call him OWL
No wonder he want a DIY owl from me
This really make my feeling fade off...

Knew that i cant rely on anyone
I need money, i need money, and i truly need more money
I prefer earn myself
I plan to sell my DIY dolls
I start to work hard to sell unit trust
When i heard my relative interested, i really happy
I really put a big hope, my confidence boost up
I CAN DO IT!!
But in 2 hours time, my relative told me he wanna delay his unit trust plan
That time i told myself calm down be profesional, accept and...
Smile...smile... Act like usual
I dunno what actually rumour that being spreaded by someone,
I dun care
But i know i am ANGRY
I dun mind they dun wan but i mind if someone try to sabotage other not to buy from me
I really suspect someone talk something behind me

I am in my hometown, i cant cry even i wan
No place for me to cry, no time for me to cry
I only can cry when i be with water

I just realize i've change
Now i smile but i dun think it is sweet
I laugh but i dun think i laugh for something i feel funny
I laugh when i think i need to laugh
I praise but in my heart, i felt guilty
I say yes but my heart keep beg to no
I felt i am so fake
I hate myself
I hate myself

I wanna tell my father u r the one that i ever respect
But u spoil my dream, u spoil my life
When i think of this, i always think to die
I wanna go to eight floor........

I dun believe anyone
Anyone will harm me
I need to protect myself
I just trust myself
I just trust myself........



























































L

我是我自己 我不是别人

我已经有很久很久没来这里了
可是今天听你说了一句话真的真的让我冷了下来 

"你为什么不像她那样对男友呢?"

那局话让我自己面对了镜子一段时间


我问问我自己我到底谁?

这样的我不是你要的吗?

我很差吗?
我真的很差吗?
我真的真的很差吗?
如果是的话那你就离开好吗?
my mom ever said this kind of words to me...
her words haunt me for years....until now....
i just wanna repeat my words...
if u wanna enter my world, please accept me,
if u unable to accept, please leave...
i am here not for you to critics....

people never compare you not meant you better than others but we just don't want to hurt you.